Short answer
Yes. Fantasising about other people is extremely common in long relationships, for both men and women. A fantasy is a thought, not an action, and it doesn’t mean you love your partner less. It becomes worth looking at only if it’s constant, causes distress, or starts replacing real connection.
Why this happens
- The mind naturally seeks novelty; fantasy is one way it finds it.
- Fantasies often express a feeling — wanting to feel desired or free — more than a literal wish.
- Long-term routine makes the imagination more active.
- Stress and distance at home can make fantasies more frequent.
What helps
- Drop the guilt — shame about fantasies does more harm than the fantasies themselves.
- Notice what the fantasy is really about: attention, adventure, being wanted?
- Bring some of that energy into your relationship — novelty, play, appreciation.
- If a fantasy feels like an obsession about a real person, talk it through privately.
Related questions people ask
Is fantasizing about someone else cheating?
No. Cheating is about actions and secrecy. Fantasy is a private thought.
Is it normal for married women to fantasize about other men?
Yes — it’s just as common for women as for men.
Go deeper: Sexual fantasy: meaning and why it’s normal →
Want help with your own situation? Ask Rupesh privately on WhatsApp — the first chat is free — or book a private session. No names needed: you can also ask anonymously.
LustDecoded offers relationship and intimacy guidance, not medical treatment.
